“What if I’m in the quiet? What if I’m right here, right now?” This is what I heard God speaking to me as I entered 2021. In my life, I’m used to constantly going and never stopping. Always searching for the next adventure, the next big thing to try out, the next task to be checked off my list, the next experience to participate in. But this year it feels different. I felt God telling me to stop. He whispered, “Stop searching. What if this is all there is? What if this is enough? No more looking for the next thing. Just be here with me. Meet me in the quiet, ordinary, and mundane moments. I’m right here.”
I’ve been trying to fill my life with big adventures, when all God wanted was just Him and I on an ordinary day.
When I got COVID, I realized something. I hate the quiet. I was quarantined and, all of a sudden, I realized I hated it. I hate being left alone with just me and my thoughts. Not only that, but I hate having nothing to do. I hate just sitting without any jobs to accomplish or adventures to embark on. In fact, I hate the seemingly “ordinary” moments. The moments I’m just sitting, staring at the ceiling, with nothing to do. But it’s in this time, God started to speak to me about something. He started to challenge me in this. Why didn’t I like the ordinary? What was it about the mundane that bothered me so much?
That’s when I realized I was chasing to fill something that couldn’t be satisfied with anything other than God. I didn’t like the ordinary because I was constantly craving more. More adventures. More excitement. More joy. More laughter. But God was asking, “What if this is enough? What if this is all I’ve given to you? Would it be enough?” God was asking me if what I already had was enough. No more doing things to distract myself or keep myself busy. Just sit in the mundane and find God in it.
Right here, right now is enough. No more searching to fill the void.
During my time of quarantine, God challenged me to stop everything. Look at the ordinary moments and find joy in it. This is when I read Ecclesiastes. These verses stuck out to me.
“then I saw all the work of God, that man cannot find out the work that is done under the sun. However much man may toil in seeking, he will not find it out. Even though a wise man claims to know, he cannot find it out . . . enjoy life with the wife who you love, all the days of your vain life that he has given you under the sun, because that is your portion in life and in your toil at which you toil under the sun. Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might, for there is no work or thought or knowledge or wisdom in Sheol, to which you are going.”Ecclesiastes 8:17 & 9:9-10
As I read these passages, I was a little confused. The author is stating that yes, this life will pass away. The things of this life will eventually go to the grave, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t enjoy it. Throughout the book, the author speaks of his quest to find purpose. He searched for fulfillment in wealth, knowledge, food, love, and more. Yet, he always turned up feeling empty and realizing all the things of this world will pass away.
The only thing he did learn at the end is that the things placed in front of him are meant to be there for his delight and enjoyment. He realized that he doesn’t know what his life holds, only the Creator knows that. In this place of not knowing what tomorrow holds, he begins to find contentment in the little things. The ordinary things like bread and wine. Love and hard work. These are the things God has given him, so he chooses to enjoy these things. This is where contentment and satisfaction is found. In a place of realizing life is about the little moments. It’s all about enjoying what is already in front of you.
What if this is all there is? Is it enough?
I can now answer this question with a confident yes. Yes, it’s all enough. Today is enough. If this is all there was in life, it would be enough. As I’ve done this, I’ve started seeing God in the little moments. In the breeze or the birds I hear. In the provision of finances or laughter shared with a friend. In the dreams I have at night or the naps I take during the day. It might sound funny, but I’ve started to appreciate these things that seem pretty boring or ordinary.
And as I’ve done this, my heart has come to a place of rest. No longer searching to fill this emptiness I felt because I know this is enough. If this is all there is, it’s enough. I’m incredibly grateful to a God who created me and wove my story together. It makes me expectant to see what is to come and hopeful for what my life will hold. This is a place of complete rest in God.